Man’s eternal search for the perfect place to eat, drink, and be merry has endured for a long period of time. Since this rock we live on was formed, the founders of Burns Alley have been “key” in man’s search for the perfect place. They have wandered the entire world looking for the right mix of food, drink, and fun. They have endured long enough!

The founders of Burns Alley would like to welcome you to Charleston’s neighborhood bar. Founded on the principles of great food, service, and atmosphere, we at Burns Alley strive to be the best destination in Charleston. The competition is fierce and we believe, to be the best, you must beat the best!

We at Burns Alley want to thank you for your patronage and hope that you have enjoyed our place as much as we like sharing it with you. We are concerned about our customer’s enjoyment and want to make sure that we are providing you with a great place for you to kick back, relax, and have a great time with family and friends. Please make sure to speak to the manager on duty and address any concerns or compliments that you have. We love to hear about our happy customers as well as areas we can improve. If you have had too much to drink, please ask the manager to call you a cab. We want all of our customers to get home safely so they may spread “The World according to Burns Alley!” We hope that you have enjoyed reading the polices and get the humor within. As always in Burns Alley, if we can’t have fun doing it, we won’t!

HUMOR: According to Webster’s is:

A: That quality which appeals to a sense of the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous
B: the mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous
C: something that is or is designed to be comical or amusing

Please make sure to keep this in mind when reading and reflecting on our policies. Burns Alley is all about fun and we only want to offend the extreme tight asses in the world!

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Please be forewarned that the founders of Burns Alley have personality, can take a joke and think that you should too. What follows may contain such words as: Dickhead, Jack-Ass, Shit head, Tight Ass, Moron, and Dip Shit Rude Bastards. Please do not read on if such words offend you…….Wait….. If you read this far, then get over it and read on!

Please read all of Burns Alley’s policies. They will help you in avoiding: not being asked to leave, ridiculed in front of your girlfriend or boyfriend (we don’t care what team you play for), or being generally embarrassed over your own stupidity. These rules are in place for your own "safety of a great time." For our Yankee guests, sarcasm=making fun of you.

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